August 2017 Newsletter

Newsletter August 2017

MOUNTAIN HAVEN- MINISTRY AT A GLANCE

Financials: Monthly Revenue Required: $7,100.00 and Monthly Revenue Received: $2,672.00 Remaining Need: $4,428.00

If you feel led to give please do. All donations are used for direct service costs associated with running Mountain Haven. We know God will continue to provide. Your gifts mean the world to us and to those we serve.

Current Ministry/ Ranch Projects: 1.) Our lodge space is available for your retreat, get away, sabbatical, or small team building meeting at a donation basis. Call or email to schedule today. 2.) We officially closed our office on Main Street after almost five years, & are using a cozy little corner space of the friendship house chapel located at 1020 North 15th Street. If you need an appointment, please contact Chris. 3.) Starting September 1, 2017 we have moved to a fee based model. Our fee per hour is still significantly lower than the going rates.

Something Interesting or Unexpected that Happened Last Month:  August brought the start of school. The girls are attending a small private school in Canon City. It was also the start of the hunting & guiding season for Kevin. We are excited for a beautiful fall.

Top Prayer Requests: Pray for insight & with insight; change.

Insight-the key to change

“Nothing is more terrible than activity without insight.” Thomas Carlyle

“The worst pain a man can suffer: to have insight into much and power over nothing” Herodotus

Insight is defined as “the capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing. And “penetrating mental vision or discernment; faculty of seeing into inner character or underlying truth” (dictionary.com). Now think of your own personal definition of insight. Do you think you have it? Do you use it?

Insight, in my opinion is arguably one of the best gifts to bring to a relationship. And one of the most difficult concepts to understand. If we believe that insight is “the capacity to gain understanding” then it can be learned or practiced. If it is a faculty, then it is inherent and inborn. Or maybe it is both? What do you think?  I struggle with the idea of insight because of these two conflicting definitions. Are we born with it? Can we learn it? What will it take to learn it? I think there are some things we can do in our marriage relationship, our intimate relationships, and with our family to gain insight.

First, We can ask questions. It’s easy to assume we know what people are doing and why they’re doing it, but we can build more conversation and know people better if we stop and ask questions. We tell people all the time in marriage counseling that a clarifying question goes a long way. I hear a tone from Kevin and I make an assumption that I know what is going on, but when I risk vulnerability and ask questions I gain better understanding and therefore I gain insight. I can see into the inner truth.What if we took more time to ask questions like “What do you mean?” or “How can I help?” or “Is there more I need to know?” or “What do you need from me that would be helpful?” What does one or two more minutes of questions really hurt in a conversation besides or hurried need to solve problems.

Another thing we can do to learn or build insight is to listen and watch the people we love. I would venture to say most of us are working on our next statement, our next move, or getting distracted with other things around us; well before we listen to the entire meaning from our loved one. What if we took the time to watch and study the people we loved. What do they like to eat? What energizes them? What habits do we have that are hard for them? What do they smile about? What do they seem to feel sad about? Watching and listening to the people we love is a way to lessen defenses in ourselves and create a safe space for people we love to be themselves and share their heart. It allows for people to be their weird, wonderful selves in the safety of unconditional love. This results in authentic friendship and less stress.

Lastly in this quest to obtain or develop insight, we can ask others, both individuals and couples, their stories. We can learn about other people and what works for them. Every person has a unique personality type and a unique way of relating to and seeing the world; but I would venture to say that as we age and get older, we can become more stuck in our ways of doing and being. We say “that’s the way I am” or “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” or the famous “that works for me so why change it?”I know that some things work and we don’t have to reinvent the wheel but I also know that stagnation is the enemy of intimacy. Apathy brings division in relationships and getting stuck while another person is growing threatens oneness. Many couples do things that you might think would never work for you, and maybe it wouldn’t, or it could. There are so many ways to cultivate intimacy and oneness to try out. Plan a trip together, grocery shop and cook a meal together, take an exercise class, take a dance class, play a game, go out and photograph the wilderness together, hike together, ride together, hunt together, horseback ride together, shop together, write poetry together, read a book together and talk about it, lead a small group together, clean together, discuss a biblical concept and really listen to their opinion, do a mission trip together, fix things together… the list is endless.

Insight requires us to ask clarifying questions, listen and observe those we love, and challenge ourselves to learn from the world and engage with it in new and challenging ways. A great Arthur Erickson quote is “only when inspired to go beyond consciousness by some extraordinary insight, does beauty manifest unexpectedly”.

Try something today to activate, cultivate, or grow your insight and wait for beauty to unfold especially in your intimate relationships.It is magical and healing.

 

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