June 2020 Newsletter

Thank you to all of our faithful supporters and encouragers through the years. We appreciate you so much and are excited to discover what direction Mountain Haven will be heading as we seek answers, rest, and direction for the years to come. We continue to prayerfully consider what our future looks like and how ministry will evolve and take a different shape and direction for us. This season is turning out to be longer than we expected but we are going to be patient and stop putting expectations on it, and ourselves. Thanks for being patient with us, supporting us through years, praying for us and always being kind to us.


Financials: Monthly Revenue Required: $2700.00 and Monthly Revenue Received: $700.00     Remaining Need:  $2,000.00

Something Interesting or Unexpected that Happened:  I started a new job as Hospice Social Work Supervisor at Essentia Health. What an interesting time to start a new position. The Coronavirus is certainly creating challenges in all that we do.


Top Prayer Requests: For Kevin.We had his surgery on April 16th, unfortunately after four weeks he developed wound complications. We were at the Mayo Clinic May 27-May 29, he got some blood work, a ct scan and had a surgery under anesthesia where they opened his wound up as it is not healing the way it should. We are doing everything in our power to facilitate healing and this has been the longest journey of our lives. We are back to two times a day wound care and Kevin feels anxiety and pain every time we have to do this. The doctor predicts a 3-6 month healing process if all goes as it should. This has been debilitating in so many ways for us both, it is hard to describe. Prayers and support would be so appreciated.

Mountain Haven Newsletter – June 2020

    The Space Between: and What it Holds for Us


“In liminal space we sometimes need to not-do and not-perform according to our usual successful patterns. We actually need to fail abruptly and deliberately falter to understand other dimensions of life. We need to be silent instead of speaking , experience emptiness instead of fullness, anonymity instead of persona, and pennilessness instead of plenty. In liminal space we descend and intentionally do not come back out or up immediately. It takes time but this experience can help us reenter the world with freedom and new, creative approaches to life.” Richard Rohr

In light of the eruption of violence over the death of George Floyd, I am reflecting more and more on disruption. I thought the endless health battles brought me into a space of unknowing , and that they did. Then Covid came right at the climactic moment Kevin was in need of this desperate major surgery, and now the death of George Floyd and the collective uprising and unrest worldwide, has propelled me into a deeper more complex labyrinth of the space between.

The world is shaking, moaning, and despairing- individually and collectively. The demand for answers swells and fear has a chokehold. This idea of liminal space that Father Richard Rohr is talking about feels a bit like living between two worlds. There is a world we yearn for- maybe it is a vision of what we want for our children, our health, our marriage, our job, our soul. And then there is reality- the behaviors we see, the habits and patterns we can’t seem to break, the mindsets we continue, the health problems that unrelent, the hurt in our family, the rift in our marriage. So there is the world we know, the world we witness- and then there is the world that is yet to come, so to speak. What is expected of us individually in this space in between?

On a collective, communal level, this is what the anger, rage and rioting surrounding the death of George Floyd feels like to me- an earnest longing, a battle cry for justice, and a heartfelt wish for more- more equality, more kindness, less fear, and more humility from white privileged America. But, yet the fighting, rioting, rage, and destruction continue because the wish for the nascent world that is yet to come, feels so much like trying to walk without gravity. Because now the justified rage of what we were protesting is so overlaid with destruction and sometimes aimless malevolence. We must act, it is a moral imperative, but our desires often get misplaced and our actions, for some, are the opposite of what our hearts crave? So others judge and dismiss our actions because they only look externally, missing the point that disruption often activates deeper revelation ; and revelation and transformation are painful. The must be for lasting change to take root. What is expected of us collectively in this space in between?

The metaphysical sense that there is more for us, that we have not arrived, that a change is on the horizon is a very strong pull. It creates restlessness in our hearts, it creates a loneliness, and often it creates a rage. We have to walk in our lives exhibiting unconditional love, transformative love towards others; all while we work, raise children, try to partner with people that we are in relationship with, deal with sickness, deal with stress, and deal with a virus that is changing the very landscape of life as we know it. I have wrestled with the idea that I must somehow take control of myself, order myself more, get better habits, a better schedule, a more commodified way of living life so I can make my vision of the future happen. Is this the answer? Create more order? Ignore and live as if the disruption is not happening? In order to habitate this in between space- we must give ourselves permission to name the offense, the hurt, the rage, the loss, the trauma. Doing this is so much harder than we think because if we indulge these thoughts aimlessly, we are lost in self pity- if we deny them we are lost to apathy and habitually living.There is a balance between surrender and martyrdom- I do not know that I can find it perfectly. There is a balance between anger and despair.

For me, the common denominators for the space between us are patience, insight, self knowing, humility and courage.

  • Patience with ourselves and others- we are all a work in progress.

  • Insight that continues to grow and evolve and takes you outside of your comfort zone of friends and church and those that fit your political and spiritual paradigm.

  • Self knowing that actually empowers you to take changes that you may not have taken in the past- write letters that need writing- pick up the phone to call that person that needs calling- reach out and give that hug to the hurting person- deliver a meal- drop off money.

  • Humility that allows you to listen to hard things, to recognize others pain and suffering and experience and to speak the truth to yourself and others with a gentle voice of truth.

  • And lastly, courage. Courage is the ability to do something that frightens you, or having strength in the face of pain and grief. Everyone of us has something that frightens us and more so we have pain and grief. What will we do to face it differently today?

Individually and collectively, we have space between us, we have echoes of our present world while simultaneously we have yearnings for something different. We have an obligation to commit ourselves to a path of wholeness and reflection and to struggle with how we enter, inhabit, and use this space to create changes in our lives, our families, and our communities. I see my husband fighting a battle to live in a space like this daily. He has been in this horrific, indescribable health battle that will not end. He just had his 7th operation and there are months ahead of us, and I watch him so heartily engage in this world that he is currently living in with all its pain and suffering, while trying to maintain and promote hope for a world where he imagines that he is healed and better. It’s a battle to say the least. We all have battles. Let’s fight these together to try and make a world where hope guides our actions and our actions are meaningful.

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