March 2016 Newsletter

Mountain Haven Newsletter

March 2016


Financials: Monthly Revenue Required: $7,100.00 and Monthly Revenue Received: $21,878.00  Additional Funds towards projects :( +carryover need from last month $10,445.00)  $4,333 .00

Current Ministry/ Ranch Projects 1.) We are gearing up for a very busy summer with a lot of visitors so we are planning on trimming out the final bedroom downstairs, completing the shower, graveling the driveway  more, finishing the floors in the cabin that got flooded last summer, fixing fences that got ripped down during the windstorms we encountered, and trying to complete the prayer chapel. There is a lot to do, if you want to help with a project, just let us know. We would love to have you.  2.) We are so excited to still be offering two women’s groups. “Partners-Healing from his Addiction”, and “Codependent No More”. These two groups offer a way to grow in your individual faith, and connect with other women to be challenged and find healing. The fliers came out earlier this month, you can check out the Mountain Haven Facebook page where they were posted. I believe you will really love being part of a community. We are still looking for more participants for these two groups.

Something Interesting or Unexpected that Happened Last Month: We took a much anticipated trip to NYC with our oldest son and his wife Emily. It was truly the trip of a lifetime and we covered a lot of ground sightseeing and exploring. We had a great time connecting as a family.

Top Prayer Requests:

  1. Kevin and Chris will be attending an intensive ministry retreat in April. We are excited for the downtime, healing, and the re-visioning time. We are also very grateful for the generosity of our donors that have covered the cost to attend this retreat! Pray for our kids while we are gone. Because we don’t have family out here, we have a friend’s mother staying with them and it is an adjustment for them. 2.) Pray for couples that have been married a long time- these seem to be the marriages that are suffering and struggling.

 Writing a Family Legacy

To leave a legacy for your family will require sacrifice. The latin root of sacrifice comes from sacer, meaning “holy” and the related word sanctus, anything that is sacred or holy. (Merriam- Anyone that is a parent knows that, often times, it feels like the opposite of holy or sacred. It feels unholy, messy, confusing, and tiring. When Kevin and I reconciled in 1999, there was a lingering conversation between us about family legacy. At that point we had only one child, Brandon; and since we had screwed up so greatly with him during those early years, it was important that we talk about the things we needed to change that would impact him. We were passionate about making our story and our mistakes matter.

 We don’t live our lives for our children, we raise them up, we launch them and we let them go- offering what guidance, wisdom, and support we can into their adult life. But how many of us have ever thought about the idea of making our family interactions something holy or sacred during the time we are raising kids? And even beyond as we interact with our adult children? Most of the time we are managing schedules, running a taxi service, paying fees related to extracurricular activities, helping with impossible homework, and navigating our way through the developmental stages of our kids.

In her book, “Daring Greatly,” Brene Brown talks about a parenting manifesto that she and her husband committed to live by in order to parent with honesty and vulnerability. These traits have always been an important and critical part of our parenting journey since re-marrying in 1999, and raising Brandon; and now adding Kaisha and Lilliana to this family structure. I believe one of the ways you can create holiness, or the feeling of a family being sacred, is by working on your marriage. There will be a direct correlation between the way you “sacrifice” in your marriage and the family legacy you leave your kids. I’m not sure how this is transferred over; maybe through a secret, ethereal, mystical process; but we see this all the time in our counseling practice. Being aware of the dividing issues in your marriage, not keeping secrets, dealing with issues straight on, and showing your kids how to wrestle through them, doing good self-care, and being kind to yourself and your spouse; are all ways you can keep holiness alive in your marriage and create space for your children to learn sacred living from, and with, you. Subsequently passing a mantle of empowerment, peace, vulnerability and wholeness to your children. As you seek to change, evolve, bend, and sacrifice your will, your wants, and your pursuits as a parent, you are demonstrating “sacred” living. There will be a ripple effect.

Let’s explore this a little deeper by asking ourselves some tough questions. How many of us say one thing that we want our children to do, or not do, but we live life in an opposite manner? Do you tell your girls not to focus on their looks but really you are insecure and focus on your own external beauty? Do you struggle with being self-absorbed? Do you tell your boys not to lust, but secretly harbor lustful thoughts and struggle with pornography? Do you steward your money well, or spend frivolously and yet wonder why your kids are displaying signs of selfishness? Do you make your spouse a priority? or facebook, instagram, and online gaming? Avoiding eye contact and staying busy so there is no time to connect intimately with your spouse? And then wonder why your kids won’t talk to you or shut you out? Do you live a double life, secretly engaging in “adult” activities, or propagating lies while you are expecting, or even demanding that your kids tell you the truth? Do you hold religious behavior, decorum and behaviors as more important than sacrificially loving your child through a particular trial they may be in?

Imagine a family legacy that is sacred and holy. A legacy where each person has learned to inhabit their vulnerability, wrestle with their doubts, and fight their own personal demons. A legacy where each person; in their own right is an overcomer, and a victor- truly saved by grace. A sacred story about people that pay attention to the scream inside of them, a holy narrative wrought with the difficult and painful agony it took to be perfectly honest with our flaws and our sins; because our perfect honesty led to perfect forgiveness. A legacy that  has a heartbeat of its own that pulls people into the story and transforms them. That is the kind of legacy we hope to leave for our children and it starts with our marriage, that is where the writing of the story begins. We intend to continue to write our story in the tempest of our love. Will you dare to continue writing yours? And if you haven’t started that sacred legacy, it’s never too late to begin. Your marriage matters —-because your family matters —-because generations matter. Start writing your sacred text today.


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